Conflict about whether we should be upscale or down to earth

Visitor Question: The weather is warming up here, and so is the temperature of our neighborhood disputes. It seems like everyone is angry about something, and I am worried about people turning on each other. It's hard to run a neighborhood association that way.

As the president, what can I do when one group of people thinks we need to try to sell ourselves as the upscale neighborhood in our community and another several people want to see us remain the sort of middle-of-the-road area we've always been. We have a combination of small single-family houses built right after World War II, a smattering of gracious and larger older homes, and a bunch of low-rise apartment buildings. There are a few nice shops, but nothing too expensive. We also have some restaurants, again not in the gourmet category, and we even have one traditional feeling diner. Actually two of the restaurants are pretty upscale but not patronized usually by people in our neighborhood.

How can I as the leader get people to sit down and be reasonable in their talk until we can reach a compromise?

Editors Reply: You mentioned an important word here, which is compromise. Often neighborhoods thrive when they have a consistent reputation, such as "expensive but quality" or "blue collar friendly" or "ethnic restaurant district." However, that is not to say that you would never develop a good vibe if you remain somewhat mixed. One of the editors of this website lives in an area recently described by a frequent observer as "part hipster, part old guard." By all accounts, this neighborhood is mostly thriving, and the issues it has now have nothing to do with whether the area is in perception or reality an upscale community or a down-home atmosphere.

One suggestion would be to brainstorm how to position yourselves in the part hipster, part blue collar manner. Get with two to four people in your broader community (not your immediate neighborhood) who are great at marketing. Try to have a professional marketer or two, but feel free to invite someone who is just a great amateur promoter. Sit down with these people in an informal atmosphere, maybe over pizza and beer, to just think about how this might occur. Take one representative of each of your two camps with you for this brainstorming party. If you can reach a compromise that gives a nod to each aspect of your community, maybe this will calm things down.

We say "maybe" because it sounds as if people have become emotionally involved in this issue rather than just having a substantive disagreement. In those cases, we find de-escalation really is required. To do this, pick the calmest people on each side and again use the informal atmosphere technique. Ask questions about what we all agree upon. Usually participants can readily identify some common areas of agreement if they are allowed to be objective and feel safe in doing so. You might even employ the asset-based community development lens that we believe in.

You can then use the results of this conversation about community assets in a larger meeting of your neighborhood association. You may be able to enlist the two spokespersons for the different approaches to be the ones explaining the results of the conversation to your whole group. This takes you as the leader out of the line of fire for a moment and allows you to swoop in later to say this is what we are going to do.

Both of these suggested brainstorming sessions should pave the way for less confrontation. But neither will be successful if you pick people who are so emotionally driven about this particular subject that they cannot be reasonable enough to lay down their defenses for an hour to consider how the other side feels--and importantly, what the other side fears.

This brings up the important point that in our considerable experience, there is usually a fear behind the positions of each group when a neighborhood association begins to get into a struggle. Are people afraid that things will get too expensive and they will be priced out of the neighborhood? Are people afraid that a few scruffy looking day laborer types will ruin the lofty image they want to create so they can feel like they have invested their homeownership money wisely? Are people afraid that the pawn shop on the main street will embarrass them when their friends come to visit? Are people afraid that their traditional values will be under fire if more educated and posturing folks move into the area? You get the picture. Try to steer conversations toward identifying what the fears are, and then addressing how those fears could be dealt with.

Alternatively, you might find that what is behind the disagreement is really a power struggle between a couple of individuals, or a very small group of individuals on each side. Sometimes it comes down to personalities and who is calling the shots. Our experience is that often in this kind of situation, someone is accustomed to having their own way and reacts strongly when that way is threatened. One person or small group may feel entitled to make decisions about a certain building or group of buildings, while another person or group has a different vision. These interpersonal conflicts may need to be dealt with directly. Find out if there is a community conflict resolution center or mediation center. If not, ask any professional associations of attorneys, social workers, or psychologists if there is a member who is skilled in mediation. When that doesn't work, ask a nearby university to help you identify such a resource.

We hope one of these approaches will yield good results for you. Neighborhood associations do such valuable work that it is a shame for them to fall into major and persistent conflicts.

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